Archive for the ‘NEWS’ Category

Bangladesh Will Be Saved By The Onion News Network

Friday, September 4th, 2009

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If you are not familiar with The Onion you should check it out. They make up comical news stories. It’s pretty obvious the entire site is made up. Two different news agencies in Bangladesh didn’t know better about this article. From BBC News:

The Daily Manab Zamin said US astronaut Neil Armstrong had shocked a news conference by saying he now knew it had been an “elaborate hoax”.

Neither they nor the New Nation, which later picked up the story, realised the Onion was not a genuine news site.

Both have now apologised to their readers for not checking the story.

“We thought it was true so we printed it without checking,” associate editor Hasanuzzuman Khan told the AFP news agency.

“We didn’t know the Onion was not a real news site.”

The article said Mr Armstrong had told a news conference he had been “forced to reconsider every single detail of the monumental journey after watching a few persuasive YouTube videos and reading several blog posts” by a conspiracy theorist.

You’ve got to check your facts people. If you are reading an article with the first man to step on the moon saying it was fake and it’s surrounded by “Walletless Joe Biden Found Handcuffed To Bedpost” and “Report: Some Kid’s Head Cracked Open In Gym This Morning” it’s probably not true. This just in don’t trust everything you read on the internet. My sources tell me Barack Obama will be coming to your house later with 2 strippers and an elephant. Be ready.


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Save Massachusetts From Curt Schilling In The Senate

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

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What qualifies a career Major League Baseball player to run for the Senate? His bloody ALCS sock? From ESPN:

“[Running] would be fun. The whole spotlight media crap, not so much,” the former major league pitcher, who helped the Boston Red Sox win the World Series in 2004 and 2007, told Boston radio station WEEI on Thursday. “But [a run] would be a lot of fun because pretty much anybody that you’re fighting against in office right now doesn’t really have much of a leg to stand on right now.

“There’s nobody you can go up against that you couldn’t probably drag out a laundry list of stuff and say, ‘Listen, this person’s already proven that they’re status quo, that they’re business as usual, and we need anything but in every way shape and form moving forward.”

I certainly hope there would be a media spotlight on a ridiculously unqualified candidate. Is there not another way to go against the status quo then throwing a baseball player in the US Senate? Would the people of  Massachusetts support him in his run? I think they probably would, because Boston sucks and so does Curt Schilling.

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Save Us From The New Japanese First Lady’s Spaceship Rides

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

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Last weekend Japan elected a new Prime Minister and the new first lady says she has been to Venus on a UFO. Scary. From Reuters News Agency:

“While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus,” Miyuki Hatoyama, the wife of premier-in-waiting Yukio Hatoyama, wrote in a book published last year.

“It was a very beautiful place and it was really green.”

Her ex-husband thought she was crazy but her current one, the newly elected prime minister, approves.

“My current husband has a different way of thinking,” she wrote. “He would surely say ‘Oh, that’s great’.”

She even took the time out to write about the episode in her book entitled “Very Strange Things I’ve Encountered.” And people give Michelle Obama a hard time? Last time I checked she stays away from interplanetary flight claims.

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Was A Statue Of Angelina Jolie Breastfeeding Actually Produced?

Sunday, August 9th, 2009

I don’t get it. This is the same woman that used to wear a bottle of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around her neck. Now she’s immortalized breastfeeding. Please explain.

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An Ale For The Lady?

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

Mmmm, beer.

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Classic News Coverage From MSNBC

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

Awkward to say the least.

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Mystery impact leaves Earth-size mark on Jupiter

Tuesday, July 21st, 2009

art.jupiter.nasa

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Apollo 11 Moon landing footage restored

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

I hope my kids want to be astronauts.

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Michael Jackson’s Head On Fire: 1984 Pepsi Accident Video Found

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

The burns and hair loss associated with the accident have been cited as the beginning of Jackson’s painkiller addiction.

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A photo tribute to the people of Iran

Sunday, June 28th, 2009

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SC Governor said he was hiking, was actually cheating on wife

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

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Green Brief Part 7

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

This is from Niteowl on Anonymous Iran. Thank you for reading. – J Sanders

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Please retweet this link. Apologies for the lateness of today’s brief. I had urgent matters to take care of. I’m Josh Shahryar AKA NiteOwl – iran_translator on twitter – and I’ve been immersed in tweets from Iran for the past several hours. I have tried to be extremely careful in choosing my tweet sources and have tried maximally to avoid listening to media banter. What I have compiled below is what I can confirm through my tweets to have happened in the past day and in the past week in Iran. Remember, this is all from tweets. There is NOTHING included here that is not from a reliable tweet. No news media outlets have been used in the compilation of this short brief as I would like to call it.

These are the important happenings that I can positively confirm from Tuesday, June 23 in Iran. (If I cannot positively confirm, I have indicated that I can’t.)

1. Although most sources had confirmed that there was going to be a strike today in Tehran, the city had only partially closed down its shops. Throughout the day reports kept arriving that Mousavi had not ordered the strike, however, most people continued urging protesters to comply with the strike. It seemed that there was a complete lack of coordination between the movement and its leader. This is the first time it has happened, however, and seems to be a direct result of government’s tireless efforts at trying to jam communications between protesters and their leaders.

2. There were sporadic reports of a more successful strike in parts of the Kurdish-inhabited areas of northwestern Iran. In Kurdistan province, the cities of Sanadanj and Seqqez were reported to have had half their shops closed. There were also reports from Mahabad in Western Azerbaijan province to the north of Kurdistan province. That city is also inhabited by Kurds. The main stream media has not confirmed these reports; however, sources were pretty uniform about the veracity of them.

3. People in Tehran, though, acted in different ways to continue to defy the authorities. There were anti-government posters stuck on walls, anti-government slogans adorned parts of the walls of the city and waves of small rallies broke out in various parts of the city. Car headlights were turned on in the city at dark to commemorate those killed in the protests and chants of Allah o Akbar continued to ring loudly at night. Among these chants, there were also chants of “Death to the Dictator” and surprisingly enough, some people also chanted “Death of Khamenei” – although the last one was only reported in isolated areas.

4. The city of Tehran was literally crawling with Basijis and police. There were roadblocks everywhere and the streets were heavily patrolled by the security forces. Most sources complained that going outside was dangerous for anyone – even if the person wasn’t a protester as security forces continued to beat up anyone they could get their hands on.

5. There were reports of clashes in northern, western and eastern Tehran between small numbers of protesters and the security forces, though; no news of any casualties reached us. Shots were fired late at night as well, but still no word of casualties today. People had started small fires on the streets that were continuously being put down by the security forces.

6. Arrests continue to take place throughout the day. Journalists from Kalemeh newspaper were picked up and there were unconfirmed reports of the arrest of at least 2 journalists affiliated with the foreign media, however, the latter claim could not be independently verified. One of these is a Greek reporter with the Washington Times. The government has now announced the creation of a special court in order to investigate and decide the cases of people who have been so far arrested by the government.

7. There was also sickening news of security forces asking the families of protesters who’d been killed for large sums of money – typically between 3-5 thousand dollars – as a “bullet fee” if they wanted the bodies of their dead relatives back. At least two cases were confirmed by our reliable sources, but it seems to have not picked up with MSM yet. Also, relatives of protesters went today to Evin prison to see if they could get information about the ones arrested recently. They were turned away without a chance to verify whether their relatives were in custody.

8. The Iranian government continued to blame the West for Iran’s current state of affairs. As a direct result of this, Iran expelled to British diplomats in protest, resulting in the expulsion of two Iranian diplomats by the British government. There are reports of the EU mulling over imposing sanctions against Iran. Shirin Ebadi – the Nobel Peace Prize laureate from Iran – has asked the world to only impose political and not economic sanctions on Iran.

9. Mousavi and Khatami’s offices have told their supporters to use a different tactic to get their demands by going to the bazaars with their families everyday starting Tuesday at 9 and not buy anything at all. If anyone is to ask them, they’re to say they’re there to shop. According to Khatami, time had come people to stop wasting their energies on the government in the old ways and start new ways of defying the authorities’ refusal to meet their demands. According to Khatami, the actions described above will halt all business in Tehran.

10. State media in Iran are continuing to denounce protesters as thugs, hooligans and terrorists. It has been reported that Keyhan Daily’s tomorrow’s edition is going to call for Mousavi’s arrest. Reports were also published and broadcasted about Mohsen Rezaee – on of the four candidates during the election – has taken back all his complaints against the elections. Khamenei has extended the period for registering complaints against the elections for five more days. The deadline was Wednesday, before.

11. Throughout the day, there were reports of Mousavi organizing a fresh rally as well as Karoubi calling on people to stage rallies in different locations. Both leaders were said to have wanted rallies late afternoon on Thursday. Yet, the reports were often so conflicted that for now, the place and time of the protests cannot be verified. As before, it seems they are trying to confuse the government into keeping less armed personnel around the protest area by not letting them know where it’s actually at. So far, reliable sources have mostly agreed upon a rally at Baharestan Square in the late afternoon.

12. There was word all over twitter about Britain freezing more than a billion dollars worth of Iranian assets as a result of the protests. However, this had actually happened way before the protests as a result of Iran’s non-compliance with the recommendations of IAEA during the nuclear standoff.

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